self involved angsty emo rant that i cant seem to burrow.

urgh, i really thought life would be all smiles after hsc.. was i wrong or what?
in a way i miss year 12, it was secure, i knew who i was when i was at school.. it might of been the most stressful year of life but at least in a way i was content with myself.
now i feel so completely and utterly alone. unwanted and discarded like any effort ive ever made has been lost. i dont know who i am anymore. and who i am, i hate.
i dont know what to do with my life next year, or ever.
i need to feel the motivation to do something again. i feel like ive given up on everything i used to care about.
and now i care about things i dont want to care about.
i was so obsessed with finding something that never would exist. and now even i did find it, i dont think i could handle it.
i hate this self involved rant. and i hate even more how i cant stop.
i feel like im just daydreaming through my own life. and one day im going to wake up and look in the mirror to a face of regrets.